".....to wake up, look at your body and feel nothing but disgust changes who you are in the world"

~

".....It is the darkest place on earth when you look at your body and ask "Is this what the rest of my life will be like?"

All my life I have been on again & off again as far as fitness, weight and good nutrition goes. Working 60+ hours in the Health & Wellness industry since the 80's I somehow managed to stay active enough to keep my weight in tact in my 20 & 30s.  I would run an extra couple of miles on weekends to make up for any indiscretions and usually could just bounce back from a month of poor food choices and little exercise.

At the age of 38 (2001) I found the love of my life and married. Have you ever heard of the 20#s that the wedding ring weighs? Mine actually weighed in at 25#s just after 1 year of eating big dinners late at night, virtually no exercise time, being in peri-menopause and living a life that kept me on the run from 4am - 10pm!

I literally woke up one day to find that all my extra weight had settled into my tummy, butt & thighs. I fought with enormous hormonal swings induced by peri-menopause and exacerbated by poor nutritional choices due to cravings. Sugar was the highlight and low light of my days. I fought it mentally but in the end more days than not- the sugar won out.

In 2004 I actually saw 150 on the scale for the first time in my life, that 150 on my small boned 5'4 1/2" frame was life changing. I had never been over 130 at my absolute tops!

Looking back I recall the day I looked in the mirror and felt nothing but utter disgust for the first time in my life. I realized that it was changing who I was in the world- I didn’t want to be intimate with my husband, I didn’t look people in the eye any longer and I had certainly lost my happy, positive, "Ms Sunshine" outlook on life. I truly disliked who I had become.

Physically my back hurt all the time, my knee joints popped and cracked and I felt like I was carrying around a full grown woman on my back. All of this just made the hormones and emotions unbearable.

I was fortunate enough to have a "do or die" mindset and I never gave up working out. I did cardio until there were no more hours left in the day, I ate healthy or so I thought- I cut calories down to 1000-1200 per day and guess what happened, NOTHING! I lost 2-3 pounds (after a year of this) I was flabby and still hopelessly unhappy with what I believed was my new 40 + body.

I cried more than I can tell you and I found support .  I got involved with the most incredible fitness on line group that supported me in my quest to be fit after 40!

In January 2005 something clicked and I refused to do what I had been doing which produced ZERO results- I didn’t care what the experts said-

• I could not cardio my weight off
• I could not reduce my calories any more than I had and expect to function. 
• I got mad! Really mad! I was no longer willing to hate myself and feel totally helpless!

 I finally found my answer...................

 I found a strength training based program with nutritional guidance that I lived and breathed exactly as written for 12 weeks. It was hard- it was actually mentally brutal the first 3 weeks- but then something started to change- on the inside I no longer felt weak & tired and that showed on the outside. My clothes were not tight- I was not bloated and I started walking taller again!

At week 6/7 it was as if my fairy godmother had magically transformed me physically. I started to look like the powerful, healthy, fit woman I was feeling on the inside...

I had discovered the secret - I was lifting weights more and doing less cardio- I was eating for health and vitality to fuel what I wanted to accomplish...My hormonal swings and cravings were all but gone! It was one of those life changing moments.

I dropped 4 sizes in just 90 days and I have never looked back.  It is because of that experience that I became a Certified Personal Trainer. I now get to give back in so many wonderful ways - my life has never been the same.

FAT VS MUSCLE- Thats the secret to success in changing your mind & body... Muscle IS the answer- not pills, not shots, not surgery- MUSCLE

It is the darkest place on earth when you look at your body and ask "Is this what the rest of my life will be like?" It is the most beautiful place on earth when you get fit and healthy enough to stop focusing on yourself and your scale! That’s FREEDOM!

 If there is one person out there  I can help shift the defeating beliefs and behaviors and introduce a better way to work with your body rather than against it  then I am happy I have chosen this field for my best half of life ahead.

In May of 2009 I knew I had to have a total hysterectomy. I was really afraid after going straight into menopause that I would become a fat & flabby 50 something.  My body fat had jumped to 26% just before surgery due to health complications and I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to transform again after surgery- that’s very scary for a Personal Trainer!

It took 4 months but I got my post menopausal body even more sculpted and defined and smaller than I had been back in 2005! I got my body down to my leanest ever of 17-18% body fat! This picture is December 2009.... I am a happy camper!

In late 2010 I was mis-diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and that brought about a  a whole change in my body. Constant steroids to reduce inflammation, trying every test drug on the market. It was 2 years where I was unable to use my hands – I couldn’t lift weights or use body weight to train- I added 8% body fat almost immediately as I lost my muscle. Muscle burns fat – that is 100% truth. Without it we cannot out-diet or out cardio our body fat increases.

I am still battling the body fat increase and I am continuing to work very hard to get back the body and fitness level I had just a year ago. It is humbling to be back in this position again- I think it makes me a better trainer- I am living through exactly what my clients are. I plan to be back in full peak fitness by mid 2012, after I regain full use of my hands again.

I plan on continuing helping as many women as possible achieve their goals

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